When it gets dark, look to the light!

Can I just say that if it weren't for small glimpses of peace from the Spirit, I would feel so discouraged from life and the toil and exhaustion of it? When I am feeling at a good point spiritually, I often get side-swiped by the adversary with messages or doubts, or fears. Oh, fears, how I dislike them! Fears are endless and we all have unknown futures. The adversary uses the future to scare me, and I don't like that. I want to believe that it will be happy and that my most worthy dreams will come true, even if my future looks different than the one I painted for myself. I know that my life looks very different than anything I ever envisioned. In some ways, it's so much better. In others, there are things I wish were different. I MISS my family and friends sometimes, and living away from them has given me so many growing pains. I want to be with my older sister and talk and laugh with her, in person. Sometimes I am jealous of those who get to take their children to grandma and grandpa's house. I only do that on a vacation....

Sometimes my days are cloudy, they are dark, they are discouraging, and they are crummy days that I want over. I get tired of the noise of life. I wish I could turn my ears off and spend time in my mind just reflecting. That is my happy place because things become clear once again. In those dark moments, I like to think of the times that I have had light in abundance shine down on me. I picture my little girl giggling with delight as I play a game with her. I picture my husband challenging me to a competition of Tupperware-throwing. It consists of trying to get the tupperware in the sink from the opposite side of the counter. It was a time of light because I won that Tupperware throwing contest. :) I never knew that a game such as this could be so fun. I think of beautiful places in nature, of past times that made me smile, friends that made me feel truly loved and cared for.

I am confident that if we look, we can see all that God has given us. He gives us those moments of light so that we can swim through those dark passages only to come out to the other side to an even brighter day. I hope I can always see the light in my life, and I hope you can too.